She stepped outside and found a crumpled piece of paper on her front
lawn. She unravelled the sheet and it read...
And then there was
She sat on the edge of the bed, smoking her last cigarette. "Why don't
you get your ass dressed and...just… Get up, god Damn it! Go to the
liquor store and get me a pack of fucking cigarettes, FUCK!" It's 1:32
in the A.M. I believe that I'll take a drive downtown for awhile before
heading back home. I haven't decided on whether or not to get dressed,
We’re gonna to wait until our parents
die, then take the inheritence to
Vegas, we’re gonna strike it rich, then eat at fancy restaurants
tipping the dishwashers along the way.
Over by the sink, the markings of a
madwoman. A bloodied knife and some
pills. Look, over there! By the sink, the markings of a madwoman. The
knife was a gift from my parents, they never would accept our love. The
pills, I am unaware of their origins. But, the knife, it was a gift
from my parents. I believe there was music playing in the foreground of
our lives at that particular moment. It was the fifth of a forgotten
symphony by the lost one.
What does this mean
A man lifted weights alone in his
basement. He was bench pressing 200
pounds. He had become fatigued by the 8th repitition. The bar slowly
began to lower toward his throat. Could it have been, the death of a
young man? No, only a bruised ego would come of this. For he was able
to place one half of the bar over to the side of him and quickly move
just as the 200 pounds came crashing down on where his life was.
Everytime he would try and call out her name, no one would answer back.
He had forgotten that she had been dead for 5 years.
There she sits, waiting for the
moment to become clear. As dusk
approaches and objects turn to shadow. Following the footsteps from the
lands end. I saw at the edge, a body with the expression of a monk.
Once upon a time
I beat a crack dealer down with a
dildo. No joke. Was the oddest
fucking day of my life. You can underestimate me all you'd like.
However, you're only fooling yourself.
The dream of ants...
I went back to the fields to say goodbye to my laundry
The train could be heard closer and closer the sound is near
Up where the church bell sings is where it all began
She fell from heights known only to her
The remains everyone in town is still in search of.
And the queen laughed while her ego was flying around the room
Mirrors were not broken but we all knew what was next
Tempers flared to resemble a meeting of innocence
Bad habits were to ruin his condition of desolation and dreams
Whereas the majority without crowns were to fall or so it would seem
And thusly came the fires which burnt our family and home
She really didn't mind for there wasn't room for such empathy
And so it began her states of execution
Just as the train came near one last step to find a pair of pants
Became the first step of her life with the ants
Who were in power again
And all that once was is now
But a dream of a favorable party with her leaving
I've since come to find
That we are now closer than we were before
Never take your youth for granted 2004
Standing in the rain, in a driveway not her own, apples fall
through the bottom of a paper sack and roll out onto the street just as
a car approaches. The car swerves suddenly to avoid the apples before
driving into a mailbox. The old lady gathers the fruit into her coat
pocket before returning home.
I awake from three hours sleep, outside is clouded, there is a woman
overflowing from her tight clothes on the television, she is loud, she
spins the wheel, yet again, only to immediately forget the first, she
wins...this is life.
When working at a warehouse, during the latter half of a second shift,
while everyone had long since hunkered into their tedious tasks…an
anonymous worker cried out “SOMEBODY KILL ME!”
All is white Sunday, November
16th, 2003 12:21 pm
Socks in the dresser drawer, which remains open. You left a message on
the answering machine the other day, I couldn't get myself to listen.
If only these machines weren't digital, the power went out and I lost
the damned thing. Last night I watched myself on video, frightening
what I've become.
StopWatch Saturday, November
15th, 2003 8:23 am
You sit on the pavement, taken out of the picture. The clock runs out
just before you figure yourself still. Windy evening blows, silent.
The last thing I remembered
Wednesday, November 12th, 2003 10:52 am
After Larry and I moved all of my items from the apartment, I pissed a
nice thick dark yellow in the extra bathroom. As we left, I jumped as
hard as I could up and down on the living room floor. That one went out
to that rancid fucking neighbor below.
5:53am and I am not yet sleeping
12/23/99 5:53 am
Over your shoulder, the time is much closer to the moment of solution.
By the way of that expression on your face, I see that you do not care
about what it is that hope is thinking. Work does not exist but only
for the blind. Nevertheless, I shall be closer to the point of no
return and you will not follow. Still, I can not help but wonder...What
was the name of that actor who played the part of my struggle to regain
dignity in the midst of ongoing retribution?
Another 3/3/00 1:43 am
We have all felt the pain of losing to another. Just when we think that
we have been found. The other has been…by another.
Apartment 11/4/99 10:33 pm
Maybe it was in a parallel universe or just some trash bin over by the
refrigerator. The fear of one's own voice permeating above. With one
fair swoop, all is kept at bay. At least it is in it's proper
Blueprint 8/5/00 9:37 pm
Sitting in the shower with water lightly touching down upon my
nakedness. Thoughts of a past lover being filled by another dominate my
mind. Maybe if... when... how... never again... One day, I was walking
the streets at 11pm in the safe suburban oasis of my parents dream.
And…I came across an aborted foetus. This afterbirthofanation could
only speak of the time that me and you should have made love to more
than one thought at a time. So, here I am... sitting in the shower...
as the water gently sprinkles down upon my body as though I’m washed up
on a shore. Freedom.
Broken 3/3/00 1:30 am
Here I sit, like an eggshell tossed aside, never to be thought of,
The clown with the tear in his eye
3/3/00 1:38 am
I must have done something truly horrendous at some point in my life,
for I can never quite figure out what I’ve done to deserve such
1/2/99 1:19 am (c) copyright 1999 (1)
The finished failing of a foul bone became the nutrients when
everything was frozen. Led by an ink filled jet of left feet, she was
never quite the way he was even though he was she. Do not follow into
the light of darkness.
(c) copyright 1999 (2) 1/4/99 11:44 am
Nothing to say, except…for a story about a naked woman who became
trapped in a phone booth. She missed her flight, after-all.
(c) copyright (3) 2/3/99 1:43 am
Too though sand minute nest and a loss to the picnic time. The shrunken
head speaks no more. 13 years from a heart attack, 3 years from lung
(c) copyright (4 & 5) 2/3/99 1:52
(4) When the disease remains nameless, the blood becomes lost, like the
thought of the unborn, their measurements of time are forgotten, his
health has yet to fade, but…
(5) Over by the trash-can sleeps societies gold plated charge cards,
where do you sleep? And when?
Dead fish wrapped in soiled aprons
5/12/99 3:48 pm
Digital kaleidoscope of filtered dreams passed along side dead fish
wrapped in soiled aprons. Photographic thoughts plastered against
hypnotic symphonies of the ones from other life-forms into something
Don't smell anything yet 2/21/99 1:53
This come frame believe see warning. Last stolen homes risk hold what
grew dream town. Hate happy brother get paintings on list. Take half
how moment touch silence. Intrude invite soul ice. Then crime detective
rated germs soft fibers help trap hands. Message watching two are
pregnant afraid target. Look at the melting car.
Doris explains breathing 2/14/99 1:27
Jumping wait you sit look no birthday open left cab rusted abandoned.
Find gone think I this so fragile told afraid feed ground wrong do.
Driving answer decided where expect not here help toll back why booth
know drive. Marry vice jack heavy tourist quiet work. Open 24 hours a
How laughter heals view child
spiritual 2/3/99 2:11 am
Careful wish wings moment everybody are she mostly she job because so
video imagine interview. You know how he things know doubts allowed
asked if convict tied her up right. Sorry permission people street
police testifies stories three times head written read today authority
two for of all. Drop wife marry question thinking or 24 worst part
young mother what daughter irresponsible asked well separate what flash
congress. Did disclosed people react to apology say something kind. How
much how much how much.
New Year’s Eve 5/17/99 10:03 am
Drinking supermarket champagne with clubbed crackers, hypnotic glow of
a television, I smell smoke.
Dusk 8/10/00 4:34 pm
Found in foetal position surrounded by a choir of ghosts unleashed from
my bleeding ears. The sounds of a possibility as yet seen struggle to
penetrate my being. Unsure of what the voices want I stand to my feet
and begin my journey. Out into the distance of a chilly September
evenings air I am blinded by the wavering sounds. I can feel the
presence of the one who found me but I can no longer speak a known
language. For I am captured in a state of dusk.
False teeth responsible 9/17/00 9:51 pm
Photographs of names sounded by table rust and sour sponges. Balls of
soiled fabric used in a child’s costume. Friday, September 8, 2000 at
1:01pm a friend from my past shot himself in the head and died alone in
his bedroom. I wasn't sure if I should go to the wake, so, I went back
to sleep instead. We were never that close.
Fame 2/11/99 6:09 pm
There was a thought but, the thought could not be a thought therefore,
it belonged to someone else who, in turn, sold this thought for a
chance encounter with a lock of Marilyn Monroe's hair.
Finding the it 8/13/00 3:44 am
Between the plastic caress and a gentle smack across the lips. Sounds
written upon a full moon known as you. Can they see this whisper issued
from lost promises of something known only to those who could never
believe in such a forgotten title?
In through the out 2/3/00 12:11 pm
From 6p.m. to 3a.m. we worked feverishly through the cold night air.
You had packed a few things and would stay the weekend at either your
mothers or sisters house. I once received a spoon from a restaurant
from you because of my expertise at calling out the truth. And now that
expertise was at work with us. It is over. One week anniversary, there
have been no words, no sights, no sounds. Only silence and the energy
that has been percolating for years. And... why is it... that...I am
always…entering…through the exit...
With weight-loss forever 2/3/99 2:00 am
The century plaza hotel two Nancy perfume movies Elvis thinks intended
back straightened Rushmore. Support clash overwhelming booked world
suite there happy Domingo antique carol slick preachy. People today
like this king of thing. Wonderful ridiculous seems like dress agenda
wall before tear right contract bold dear communism. I will pay you
money to stop talking.
When nothing is not a poem 3/3/00
The memory of you, for I must forget, like acid, it will swallow me
whole. And though I was merely in jest, until another has filled you,
one must place the vanity of man into the sullen opening of creation.
Sought 9/20/99 8:04 pm
Is the tongue that binds…
The laugh that hides...
The memory that finds...
The air that confides...
Nothing but all...
Invisible thoughts cloud...
Always to fall...
He stuttered aloud…
Job 11/4/99 10:31 pm
Yet another 28 minutes of my life wasted on this begging to be
someone’s slave. Desperation bounces around the walls of my mind. Only,
I am far too tired to re-act. No revolutions today. For this is the day
of Sleep. The VCR projects images and sounds, in stereo, onto the
television set. Washing away the days events, I drift off amidst a
video cassette of rain falling down on pavement.
A mind exploded on the winters eve of
he 6/6/99 1:34 am
A mind exploded on the winters eve of her death. Snake bitten and
shivering, his eyes glazed. The light pierces his only thought, which
has now passed. Impure and empty are the remains. Across the shimmering
waters is where he will find the missing fragments should the choice
become intertwined with time that stops for no fool. His pathetic soul
is the cost, for time stops the fool.
He, the nomad, will glide through the air. Touching down, the waves
that roll underneath no longer encompass the fragments of her being.
Now, he encompass' all.
Moving 11/4/99 10:38 pm
Pass the cup of milk. Watch the sparrow fly into that window. Call the
paramedics if you have the impression that nothing or no-one was hurt.
Otherwise, suffer... Suffer the consequences of knowing the truth of
it's existence. Absorb all that once was... In one fair swoop, you will
fail to understand the lack of meaning that permeates the air around
us. There is nothing like the smell of accented failures of truth...
Wouldn't you agree?
Murky... 9/6/00 7:18 pm
is the mind that believes in justice...
the toes whom have yet to be stubbed...
the eye that hasn't been poked...
murky is the forgetting of telephone numbers...
the days without sleep...
the body breaking down...
the food yet to be eaten...
murky is just that...
when time forgets you...
and friends have passed...
the thief of hearts and the loss of love at the hands of an illness as
After reading this, masturbate to the thought of me masturbating at the
thought of you.
Now, is the time 2/3/00 12:17 pm
But, I am not here.
On a personal note 12/21/99 5:43 pm
Life is causing severe damage to my well-being. It seems that nothing
is working for the betterment of my existence. I feel as though I am
losing the battle. I know nothing else but to continue, but at times I
wish I were more brave than this. Fuck it. Maybe I will simply go back
to sleep and dream of something more exciting.
Pigs 3/26/01 5:25 pm
From The Gates Of My Anal Canal
All Running From The Past
Never Knowing How Or When
Join The March Of The Incompetent
They Are Said To Have The Intelligence Of A 3-6 Year Old Human Being
However Some Find Them To Be Quite Tasty
I Wonder How Tasty Their 3-6 Year Old Sons And/Or Daughters Are
Poem 9/8/00 1:58 am
I do hope that we have made the correct decision. If only one could
view the span of each and every life that they come into contact with
in relation to their own. Should we have continued further along the
story or was it always meant to be a poem. A few lines in a life, a
page, a chapter or novel. Many of us believe that we can somehow see
the future through the past and present. But, does one ever truly
comprehend the meaning of a singular poem?
Parts: 1,2,3 & 4 11/4/99 10:43 pm
The thunderous blows taken by the old man from 5c was tremendous. How
can he ever urinate again? How, I hope to say...but, actually mutter
something to the effect of “how can I not understand his urination of
words again?” Does anything make sense.
Laughing as sports scroll down the television screen. A lone tear is
seen through it all. Pass the buck. Move the library closer to the
liquor store. Stop the dead end from being monotonous. And spend your
time calling out for riches. The kind of riches that you will never
have the opportunity to spit at. Like the row of pearls on a sagging
neck. Or a simple money clip that remains in tact in an old man's
filthy right hand pocket of his spun trousers. You, the non-believer.
Non-believer of truths untold, yet known to all.
The department of agriculture has issued the warning that eating corn
can lead to extreme paranoia. Heed the warning, for I am a strict
vegetarian and you are not. Can the corn be husked into believing the
un-believable or are the kernels IQ scores far too high to comprehend.
I would run you through my dreams. Fortunately, I rarely ever remember
my dreams. Thus, they become my reality.
Power 11/4/99 10:35 pm
The lustful design of manipulation, the remote control! Regain all
power lost by the superior greed, the need can be clinched! Punch the
numbers, signs, words, The Power! Is in your hands, can you grasp it?
Pulling in the emptiness of time
2/9/99 2:17 am
Carry so then talks and thief thing. Be just cow troubles away you
dream feet may give because, Saturday legacy Lorraine choose sauce
wonder city seems father Germany. Seen destiny visions wine iron ore
attraction to mind. Southern ancient corpse shutter beauty from skies
you. Went house dealing so idea with there everywhere flannel. Channel
pet has and knows chic with here brain near and plain rendezvous
speeding. Paper eye clip band-aid trombone lips. And had mind on
realize eye find. But sight me on though little ask darling dead just
now plum dark was second hit. Awake bright center whole past surround
lie strapped table appears operating. Look that of prodding powerless
why. Only muscle speak tear flesh expecting to see instead only ashes
spilling out. The entire room coughs and sneezes.
Spring 5/11/00 8:51 pm
Bitching and moaning, is that too much to ask? For a little bitching
and moaning in the bedroom? I suppose so.
I shall take one of those water machine guns and help finish the jobs
that the beautiful people fake. With the women in small tube
tops. What they need is a nice dousing of water squirted all over
that top to reveal what they really wanted to reveal but lack the
nerve, their tits! And for the men in nothing but shorts, what they
need is water squirted all over those mini sized pants to reveal what
they really wanted to reveal but lack the nerve, their dicks! And all
those folks can truly run around naked as they all wish.
While I will stay inside in the cool air conditioning and my computer
and listen to Varese at full blast in a darkened bedroom laughing in a
hysterical fashion, occasionally pausing to masturbate at the
sight of some lovely plump brunette that walks outside this window pane.
Yes, that’s hilarious 12/19/00 3:41 pm
The funny thing about right and wrong is that people do not seem to
understand that everything is nothing more than mere opinion. Such is
the arrogance of humankind.
The thrill is gone 9/27/00 1:59 am
I haven't stolen anything in 10 years when, for a lark, I put .50 cent
shirt on underneath the one I was wearing in a thrift store dressing
room. Which was the one and only time (and last, mind you) that I’ve
stolen as an adult. However, as a child, I was quite the thief. Must’ve
stolen well over a hundred dollars (1970’s dollars) worth of Star Wars
action figures as a wee lad by ripping out a hole just small enough in
the pockets on each side of my jacket to stuff the figures up into the
jacket, like magic they are nowhere to be found. My days as a thief are
done, for I learned my lesson - which is that they were too stupid to
catch me, so what's the point. The thrill was gone.
The wonders one can find 9/8/00 1:34 am
The sound of breaking glass echoes throughout the dream of us naked in
a pool of your blood making love as the snow falls down upon the
streets and paves this memory with pale skin and semen. I do have fond
memories of such brief moments. Such as the time that I slipped your
jeans off and raised your shirt, the look on your face as I penetrated
you for the first time.
The zinc solution 5/4/99 2:40 pm
Strolling through the closet, one found a glimpse of floral delights.
There was a light the size of the head of a pen. One looks into the
light to find another peering at them.
There was 9/22/99 2:04 am
Never a memory so bright as the one where I dropped some fat boy with a
single body shot.
Thursday, August 13, 1998 6/6/99 1:30
The earth did not swallow me whole yesterday; i am struggli o l ve a li
e th t nev r ex st d; no ; it s too late f r ex stence; 22 x 5 + 54
omnipotent acid, violins, creature, my lies weigh heavy as I write
this. I will be mired forevermore.
Wax teeth 3/12/01 4:49 pm
The wax became dim as the night faded into the head of a chicken. The
plastic thoughts of tomorrows laundry never did interest the book of
dreams, however there once was a dry wall that could only speak of the
look on the face of a woman having her wisdom teeth removed. Fetishized
water skipped through the corn field, for the day has finally